I may be of the minority, but I do believe in self control. Well it's awesome you were able to find the courage to post this. Will it be immensely pleasurable and satisfying, or will it be anti-climatic and dirty feeling? Or….will I love it, and not regret it, and later encourage people in my position to do the same?….I know, that if the circumstances aligned, I could give the most amazing oral love ever given…not to sound cocky (pun intended), especially since Ive never tried it, but Ive imagined it enough to state that confidentlyĪnyways, I way trying to be concise but this testimonial got kinda long lol…I appreciate you taking the time to read it. Is it something I will regret forever, that will make me feel dirty and shameful, that will create distance between my and future female lovers ? Is it something I will feel I always have to hide and keep secret ( I am all about being open so that would be tough) ? Is it something that will feed the fire of my obsession? Will it make me want more and more, to the point that only penises have the key to my arousal ? will i become gay ? Will it Will it create a disjunction in my spiritual practice? However, I am trying to consider the angles, as this is a very big deal for me. I realize many ppl seeing this post are gay / liberal and currently aroused, and will encrouage me to slurp on cocks and love it and accept myself, which I appreciate. So, I am at a point of trying to consider it from a balanced perspective, not just while horny, to see if its a life-decision i want to make or not. The thought of actually sucking a cock, or having my cock sucked by a guy, is still very hard for me to actually grasp. However, as I am maturing and growing more comfortable, It is becoming closer to reality.
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Up until recently, these thoughts only came to me when masturbating / working up my sexual energy, and then promptly drain from me when I climax.
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Although I've come to accept this about myself, I also acknowledge that it isn't from my true heart center, and is akin to a bad habit (wasting hours watching porn, etc.). However, the fantasies have always been disconnected / disembodied, and far away from / in conflict with what I actually want and find fulfilling in life. SInce admitting to her my love of the cock and feeling her acceptance and encouragement, I am growing bolder…writing this post, browsing m4m encounters online, etc. I have been happily with my loving girlfriend for years, and she is supportive and open-minded. Huge… meaty ,thick, glistening, bulging and throbbing.
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Its not an exaggeration to say that I have a cock obsession. However, as much as Ive tried to resist it, the gay fantasies have grown to dominate… to the point that most of the porn I look at is gay. I would go through different phases with my fantasies and browsing, from 'straight' to 'gay' and everything in between (trans, etc.). The deep fasciation / appreciation of the penis I feel has been with me ever since I can remember, and 95 % of all the porn Ive watched in my life (which is a lot) is footage of oral sex, both straight and gay (but always cock sucking). I've researched the topic a lot on the internet, and I know my condition is not an uncommon one (to my relief), but I hope to stimulate deeper responses than the usual debate about sexual orientation / labeling, as I am searching for some guidance around the issue. Outside my imagination, I have never had any 'gay' experiences whatsoever, but am finding myself closer and closer to realistically considering the option of indulging this persistent fantasy. Here goes…In short, I am a young 'straight' guy with a cock fetish, that fantasizes about gay oral sex (being sucked and sucking), and for the first time is considering indulging my fantasies.
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Let me start off by saying it is a big step for me to post this, and I had to work up the courage.